blehthat descr...

blehthat describes me right now.everything is so confusing. i suppose it was a good day all in all. i think college will be good for me though. i dont know. i feel like hitting something really hard. my face hurts.ehhhhhwow, i'm such a mess...i need like to go nuts and beat the crap out of something and cry the whole time i'm doing it. like one of the insane people in a movie.me and underoath will have a nice night together...if i drank, i would be gone right now.so many emotions.good feelings because of some friends and people. stressed because of all the crap i have to do over the next few days. and confused by EVERYTHING becuase i'm so friggin stupid.just punched my wall pretty hard.. that helped, my knuckle is starting to tingle and get red, its good.i need to drive... i need to die.. i need to be alive... i need to fly (dang i am an idiot)arg.screw me.dangit... why am i the way i am.... i honestly dont know... i probably make no sense.its proabably the "end of summer depression".. but seriously my life is good i know it..ahhhhhi wish i had a best freind to call right nowi dont know if i'm mad at you.. maybe i am and i dont want to be, maybe i am just tryng to figure you out. maybe i am stupid.. maybe i just feel awful...and tomorrow morning most of this will have passed. and yet i dont want to go to bed becuase i flourish in the spotlight and i love being the hurt one... right?ha, dont ask me i definately dont friggin know.