toni...

tonight was fun. watched movies with the rachunokmonster, the dansteramma, and the SSV.it was fun. then i went to applebees with chelsea and dan, and met jared and sara there. it was fun, then me chelsea and dan drove around listening to music and talking.tomorrow is the beach.tuesday is boston from like 10-4... mmm boston. we're going to the science exhibits, and the <3aquarium<3, and jsut around boston. ah, it shall be great.i love rob, he is a great human.awww tarzan and jane are kissing on my TV(the animated disney movie my sis is watching).i guess thats all for now.. not much really going on. i'm happy, and done with work, and have plenty of money. so its alll good. cant wait for college. good times.

i need to go...

i need to go buy black and white film.. and then go to boston, chicago, italy, greece, spain, france, colorado, yosemite(sp?) national park, california, georgia, Brazil, Fiji, and Australia.but first i need to get black and white film.wow.. i just had a revelation.. but you'll have to ask me about it cause i'm not writing it here.

stolen from another livjournal...

"Love is when you've found that one person who completes you. They're your sustenance, and without them life cannot exist. They are your breath, and without them you feel like you're dying. Love is that warm feeling you get when you're just thinking about that special someone. Love is the tingling you get in your lips after you've just shared a passionate kiss. Love is finding the one person you'd die for and the one person you'd cry for, and knowing they'd do the same, and hoping you'd both have to do neither. Love is going against all the odds and going against all the critics and being triumphant and lasting."No real context to my life.. i just thought it was good.. and after looking at so much b&w photography, everything just seems beautiful.

Did you...

Did you lose something..on your way down here?I lost myself, now i'm losing it, losing it all.Give me strength, give me power to go on.mmm yes. tonight was interesting, i agree dan, i agree.i find myself jealous of for essentially the one thing i dont have. whereas i should just focus on what i know is most important.

last night was f...

last night was fun, i played ball with rob. we played one on one.. i won, obviously, it was either 11-1 or 11-2. then we got cleaned up, picked up dan, and went to rachael's. we watched "the others". i thought it was a cool concept but overall, kind of boring, and only scary/suspensful a few times. my gastrocnemius on both legs cramped up last night, and i still cant walk completely normal, but its all good. they will be so much harder and stronger now. tonight i probably have 4 hours worth of meetings at the church, but its all good. i want to chill with jared again, havent seen him since sunday. i need to talk to katie to, make sure things are all good. tomorrow i am hanging out with vicki, so that should be cool. i havent seen her since january. i should probably get back to work, only today and tomorrow left though, and then so much more free time every week, i cant wait.

i feel u...

i feel uneeded and unimportant...like i'm just drifiting through life, enough to have a small impact on people, but when i am gone.. nothing will change.. and no one will really be affected or care after a few months.i feel "needed" by soulstice, as in the event not the people.. but even that will be fine without me. i dont know.. obviously i dont want things to fall apart when i leave.. nor would i expect them to.i'm happy.. but theres no real substance to my life right now.. i just feel like i'm waiting to leave.. and everyone else is too.i think maybe i am preparing for the transition and its making me feel this way, but its also because i havent had.. or even been, a best freind to anyone for a while. i have tons of friends, but its all kinda fight club...single serving.its single serving fun, with freinds.. and everyday it changes.. i need something more constant.. and in the last 2 weeks here i obviously wont get that. so i guess i'm hoping i get it at college.i think thats part of why i have been wierd lately too.. i know i'm leaving soon, and the things i say and do in the last few weeks i am here wont really affect me because i'll leave it all behind. and the people i getting to know better/ am hanging out with alot.. i know will never develop a good friendship with, because once i leave i will be essentially out of their lives, and for the most part they out of mine.it still kinda sucks though.. i dont mean to say or do things to hurt anyone.. but i guess i just havent really thought about other people a whole lot lately.. i've been very focused on myself.. and i dont really like that my nature has become that way. i'm working on it.. and i hope people that i have hurt in anyway lately are understanding, but then again... all for what... i guess my, and possibly their, peace of mind.. who knows.. that in itself is selfish, but at least it has good intentions. i wish i could look back on this summer and say wow, i made a difference before i left for college.. or i really helped a friend this summer, or something that would be fufilling.. but theres nothing really there.. so i guess i'm looking to the future hoping to find fufillment there, but i suppose i should just focus on the present and try to figure out how best to get fufillment and lasting enjoyment now.i'm starting to get a headache now from thinking about all of this, but there its lots more to go.i can type and type about how i want to change and that i want to do something great or extraordinary to be fufilled. but i can never really seem to actually follow through. and this time i really want to. i want my last 2 weeks here to be something special, something i can look back on and enjoy. instead of looking back and wishing i had used the 2 weeks differently. so partially i want to do som amazing and fun things, and secondly i want to change my life and attitude for the better.i guess thats alot to do in 2 weeks, but i want to start at least.

tonig...

tonight me and dan, and maybe someone else, are going over to rachael's around 7:30ish to watch a movie. i only have the rest of this week of work left, and then its pure freedom.. for a week and a half.. then college.. which has a pretty good share of freedom too. i'm still hoping this boston thing works out, cuz i really want to go again.

at ra...

at rachael's with dan, just chillin changing up livejournal pics and the such. i only have a few weeks left of summer before college, but it will be good. going to boston again will be sweet. good times. dan says "viva las vegas".the end